Dancing Elephants Book Project Positivity – Group1
“Happy the man, and happy he alone,
he who can call today his own:
he who, secure within, can say,
Tomorrow do thy worst, for I have lived today” -Horace.
The quote is a beautiful reminder that owning our life in the present is enough to face anything that may await us tomorrow.
I used to ponder so deep about:
Where does the happy man get his confidence from?
How dare he challenge fate to bring the worst?
What makes him feel so secure from within?
Until one day, I became the happy one and found my answers!
A few steps from my journey of becoming
When man plans, God laughs.
He must have been tired of laughing non-stop at me, those 18 months.
On my daughter’s 3rd birthday, I tested positive for my second pregnancy. How sweet, I thought! God smiled at me.
This pregnancy will be a cakewalk as I am fitter than ever, I proudly announced to my husband.
God chuckled at my test results. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes one more time.
In addition to pricking my fingers four times a day, I injected insulin on my pregnant tummy for the entire third trimester. I walked for two hours every day to ensure a natural birth. I couldn’t wait for the baby to come out. God pranked me with a c-section on the exact due date.
When the baby arrived, I thought the play had ended. God giggled at my sigh of relief.
In the next 6 months that followed, my life was made of nothing but “IFs” and “BUTs” and He ensured I did not miss a single loop in the chain of worst-case scenarios.
It all began 3 weeks after my son was born. While feeding the newborn, I got the shocking news, my work visa was denied. I re-read the mail a hundred times to confirm. The company lawyers filed an appeal to reconsider my case.
For starters, it meant I had to vacate the foreign country ASAP without anything I had built over 7 years in a blink of an eye. My husband and kids were good to stay. It was just my visa that was rejected during the renewal process.
My husband’s visa had an additional complication: If he travelled outside the country, he needed a visa stamping to re-enter. With all the new changes in the visa process, his chance to get a visa was slim.
All our non-immigrant friends advised leaving behind my husband and travelling with kids and my mother-in-law.
I had not even fully recovered from the childbirth yet. I desperately needed my husband to travel with us. The clueless mind in the postpartum body struggled to decide against compromising life values over the fear of visa rejection.
I refused to choose between separating the newly formed family for the sake of a visa. Isn’t the answer obvious? My heart repelled.
I felt trapped by my circumstance. Although my mind was well aware of the irreversible consequences awaiting downhill, my fierce heart refused to surrender to fate.
It felt good to imagine crushing the unknown fears to its last piece. A force rushed inside me reclaiming power over my situation. I was the only one in my control when everything else was out of whack.
My conscience continued to warn: What if everything fails?
My heart casually replied: I would still have a story to tell.
My husband agreed to do whatever I wanted. We booked tickets for the whole family to our home country. God grinned at my grit.
On the day of my husband’s visa interview: Spotting his face from a distance, I knew it didn’t go well. His application was put on administrative processing, which means it will take a few more weeks to make a final decision on his case.
He looked at me helplessly, and I reassured him, “We still have a chance. At least, it was not a flat out rejection.” God smirked at me and continued to test my valiance further.
The following week, my husband’s employer informed him that his job was at stake if he didn’t return sooner.
My application for the visa appeal was rejected.
We were not only homeless but borderline jobless with two kids.
I felt everything around me was going wrong. I had given it all of me. There was nothing else I could do anymore. The downward spiral was bestowed upon me.
In that hopeless moment, my heart was reminded: “When everything fails, it is a sign that the higher power is in action.”
It was so right. I recollected similar incidents from my past.
I got back up and looked above with a playful smile.
If there was one thing that kept me moving through the never-ending tragic tunnel, it was the positive energy that was constantly flowing within me!
From the seed of positivity, my hope sprouted and revived my confidence. With newfound courage, this time, I laughed along with God.
What happened in the following weeks left every one of us in disbelief. It was nothing short of amazing.
My husband got his visa and flew back right away. My dependent visa was approved with no further due.
Finally, my kids and I joined my husband. In ten days, I woke up to the news, “Your work visa is approved.” I joined work the same day.
Everything was returned to me the way it was except one: ME!
I will never be the same person again! I have grown thousand times braver than before and more resilient than ever!
I admit, there were times I felt appalled and rejected. I experienced hatred and anger. I did imagine the unknown fear eating me in full. Those brief moments were also a reminder about the tough game I played. The weakest moments revealed the warrior in me!
The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places -Ernest Hemingway.
The answers I found in my darkest moments
Where does the happy one get his confidence from?
The happy one has a positive outlook that enables her to see the good in everything.
She is confident because she knows her self-worth. She believes in herself and her values. Her truth is reflected in her actions. Her thoughts and action are always in sync letting her be authentic at all times.
Staying positive doesn’t mean everything will turn out ok. Rather, it is knowing you will be ok, no matter how things turn out to be -Unknown.
How dare she challenge fate to bring the worst?
The happy one is in control of her life irrespective of her situation.
Her positive mind is filled with hope. Her unshakeable hope drives her to take the road less travelled. She fights against all the odds for what she believes! It gives her the courage to challenge fate!
You are always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past -Richard Bach.
What makes her feel so secure from within?
The happy one lives for today. She is well aware, even heaven has no control over the past. And she cares less about the future.
She chooses to live NOW with no regrets.
She feels the most secure because her confidence, hope, and courage spring from her positivity with no bounds!
When success is your only option, positivity has to be your only choice -Germany Kent.
© Tamil, 2022
Tagging the lovely editors Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Sharing Randomly and Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi.
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