Lend it the joy in you to create purposeful lives.
Originally published in my newsletter: Magicbytes
The day I delivered my first child, I found out I was not an ordinary human.
For starters, that was the first time my body and mind will-fully worked against 15+ hours of hunger.
I risked my entire life when I went for that last push. I believed I witnessed my death.
Wait, not yet! Maybe, I lost my breath for a few seconds. But I kept my eyes closed for a bit longer. Because, remember, in my mind, I was already dead.
The brand new world waited for me to come back with a bang.
This time, I was reborn as a MOTHER!
When we saw our daughter for the first time, she looked pink like a rose with beautiful “grapes-like” eyes. It felt like “Flowers and Fruits wrapped in a blanket” and handed over to us to nurture it for our lifetime.
The miracle was all ours to keep and cherish forever.
We were “The Chosen ones.”
Little did I know then, my life had already changed forever along with my body, mind and soul.
The Chosen ones
You’ve been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits, as you have -J.R.R. Tolkien.
My childhood dream to become a great mom was shattered when I became a mother.
The reality hit me hard on my face: There is no such thing as “great mom.” Every Mom is great! So now, stop dreaming and start behaving like one.
It was easy for my visionary mind to figure that there are only two sides to the parenting coin: Purpose and Perfection. And they cannot co-exist.
I chose purpose over perfection naturally so that the fun side of living is not compromised at the cost of becoming a parent.
I opted to live without barriers, to create beautiful memories.
The world is different through the eyes of a parent
Of all the roles, playing mom is my most favourite. In this character, I am the one needed! And I am irreplaceable!
The main challenge of becoming a mom is that the world assumes you to operate and perform at a certain level. Right from day 1.
It didn’t take me long to realise embracing imperfection was the only way to enjoy my life as a parent.
The only golden rule to parenting is to accept we are players in the game too.
I love to play and learn alongside the kids every day using these simple strategies.
1. Create an unbreakable bond
The most important step in parenting is to build a beautiful bond of trust and love with kids.
To them, we are the perfect ones. What they see in us is what they will believe about us, life and everything else. For the rest of their lives!
They pick life lessons from our daily habits, everyday choices, lifestyle, priorities, and actions.
I cannot sip my third cup of coffee and tell my kid to avoid her juice. Instead, giving her the reason behind my addiction to coffee and letting her make the choice does wonders.
2. Admit mistakes
When I falter, I am ok to admit my mistakes to my daughter with a sincere apology. Although it takes a while for her to understand, she remembers to do the same in return.
It helps her feel NOT alone when she is at fault. She readily shares her insecurities with me when I tell mine first.
Showing her that life is about learning and not making the same mistake twice helps her be a responsible kid.
3. Earn respect
There is nothing disrespectful as demanding respect. In my case, I learned to respect my daughter’s choices by listening to her and giving options to her. Not by forcing my opinions on her.
Until my daughter was 5, she never wore the same pair of socks, and I deeply respected that 😉
Well, things changed when I showed her a clown wearing different socks. The smart one got the message 😎
Parenting is like breathing. We can’t pause for long. We need to be mindful to inhale and exhale every step of the way.
What is the best parenting advice you have been given? And how did it enable you to become a better parent?
Please share it in the comments.
Tagging my medium friends: Umme Salma, Adelina Vasile, Trista Signe Ainsworth, Art Bram, Suma Narayan, Sally Prag, Kristina God, Sharing Randomly, Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi, Drashti Shroff, Yana Bostongirl, Ellie Jacobson, Rhea Anglesey, Donnette Anglin, Kris Bedenian, Lisa Gerard Braun, Nancy Blackman, Bridie D, Marilyn Flower, T Mann, BichoDoMato, Sahil Patel, Liberty Forrest, Author, DMTakeshi, Karen Schwartz, Katie Michaelson, Toyin Zuleiha, pockett dessert, Victoria Gregg, Srini, Stephen Dalton, Vashni Stories.
© Tamil, 2022
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