[This article was first published on Tamil’s Substack.]
Welcome to my Home…Sweet…Home!
The house may look neat on the outside but prepare yourself to encounter pieces of play-dough or scattered animal toys in unexpected places. The doors and windows bear some creative sketches too.
The primary purpose of my home is to live and let live. The Parents shall live while allowing the kids to make beautiful childhood memories.
I don’t sweat keeping it sparkling clean for the visitors. Given a choice between organizing thoughts versus toys, I’d pick the thoughts, any day!
Sometimes, I surprise myself by doing unplanned things. Like, turning a weeknight into a movie night. Or celebrating a random day with a fudgy chocolate cake.
This helps me to escape the ordinary and makes me be more mindful of the blessings.
By now you may have guessed, I am anything but perfect!
All amazing things in life are not perfect either: Belly-aching laughter, sneaky smiles, naughty winks, overflowing joy, funny moments, heartfelt warmth, and the list goes on…
To pave the way to attain those moments frequently, we need to let go of the pressure and limitations that block our way in the name of perfection.
Our relationships, everyday plans, daily routines, family, career, and future fall into this imperfect circle.
The beauty of life lies in the uncertainty of the next moment. And yet, we focus our energy to make things appear perfect on the outside.
Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. -Brene Brown.
How did I become a better-than-perfect Mom?
On my run days, I hop between the legos to grab my shoes and set off to run. when I am back, I follow the trail I created when I left home.
I have no shame in admitting that I choose running over cleaning the house.
When I became a mother, I made a vow to NOT let mommy shame steal my everyday joys of life.
I enjoy making sandcastles on the beach and getting soaking wet in the water parks with my kids. I encourage my kids to play in the puddles and dance in the rain.
My proud mommy moments include watching the kids playing in the park turning their white shirts brown.
There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. -Jill Churchill.
We can learn about life only through play
When my 5-year-old daughter wanted to try indoor rock climbing for the first time, she was super scared. My husband and I took turns to convince her. But she had already made up her mind to quit.
Give up on something she had not even tried once?!
I couldn’t watch her do this.
So, I put on the rock climbing belt myself and climbed to the top. Boy, did I feel anything? Absolutely. I thought I was going to faint and fall flat. But, when I came down, my daughter had already decided to climb, and she did very well for the first time.
After that incident, I have seen her stunning stunts with rock climbing and adventure hikes.
Yesterday, my daughter gave me a lifeline[A line that permanently changed my life forever].
She saw me writing this story that said: “I am not a perfect Mom.” and her response was: “You are the best, Mom. Actually, you are better than perfect.”
BINGO! She nailed it!
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” -Marilyn Monroe.
So, stop sweating about being the perfect one. Start becoming a real one, instead! Better late than never! 😇
Please share in the comments, how you embrace imperfection in your life? I would love to know more.
New to Medium? Become a member using my referral link to get unlimited access to amazing stories for only $5 a month.
A huge shout out to Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles for this beautiful post about peanut butter, compliments, laughter, and what they all have in common. I enjoyed every bit of it and you should too!
[This article was first published on Coffee times Substack.]
Start living today.
The fun part about me, I take things lightly. I try to live in the moment.
I wake up every morning as if today may be my last opportunity on this beautiful planet. This helps me to stay grounded. And let go of everything that doesn’t feel good for me and others. And breathe freely.
I am incapable of sulking, complaining, or holding grudges.
Even when life throws lemons at me, I make lemonades. With strawberry flavor. Because I like adding colors and flavors. Both to lemonade and life!
Here is the funny part: My unyielding attitude towards life challenges is misinterpreted as escapism and irresponsible behavior by some people.
I used to think, they are tired of me brimming with joy even during the most trying times.
But the truth is that the same people are also the ones who refuse to live in the present. Because they are busy planning for their future.
I can’t help but wonder how they could not render such positivity [their assumption about living longer] towards living now.
Don’t let people who are living their nightmare tell you that you can’t live your dream -Unknown
Here’s what I do every day to fall in love
The first and foremost thing that tremendously helped me with this “NOW” mindset is to stop saving every dime for the future. And start spending some money on what I enjoy doing now.
The money from my paycheck is divided into three different categories: “Spend,” “Share,” and “Save.” My gym membership with a personal trainer, Medium Membership fee, Regular family vacations, Year-end trips with extended families cannot be compromised! I share by giving to people in need and donating to charity. And save the remaining.
I don’t wait until tomorrow to use what I have today! Until a few years back, I saved my special dresses for occasions. Mark my calendar and wait for the day to come. I don’t do it anymore. Now, I pick my special days. The high energy in my days is enough reason to celebrate. On those days, I dress up even though I have nowhere to show up! And click pictures like crazy! Creating delightful memories that can’t wait until tomorrow.
I text random appreciation notes to my friends and family to let them know I care. This alone has done wonders to my relationships. In bridging any gaps and making the bonds stronger than before! ❤️
I can’t wait until tomorrow to let my kids play adults. I involve them in the decision-making process now. The recent conversation with my 7-year-old daughter is something I will proudly wear on my mommy crown. I was in a dilemma about continuing my full-time job in the world pandemic. When asked, My daughter’s re-assuring response made my entire year: “Mommy, you are the best! I think you should continue to work. You can do both!”
Last but not least: Life hides surprises in unexpected places. Sometimes, it shines on me in the form of a rainbow. The bird watching me from my window is a sign, I am being noticed. Every being around me shimmers with so much beauty when I care to look deeply. To unveil the magic around me, I need to live my dreams today like there is no tomorrow!
Like an art, Life gets better when we practice living every day!
Every day is a chance to create meaning in our lives. It is immensely satisfying to spread love and kindness. To know that our existence has a reach beyond us.
To be creative means to be in love with Life -Osho.
I would love to hear from you about how you practice living in the moment. Please share it in the comments.
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe -Dalai Lama.
Have you ever wondered the whole universe was made for you? The sun, the moon, the planets, the stars, and everything else that takes turns to speak to you in its language. Every day of your life!
To watch over you, to reaffirm you, “You are not alone”. You were never alone!
I don’t take the breeze that wipes my painful tears for granted! The stars that come every night uninvited are a reminder there will always be a tomorrow!
I can sit still and be immersed in the sea. Watching the freshly made foamy waves hit the shore only to dissolve. In endless loops.
It makes me realize the abundance in the universe. The sun doesn’t stop shining brighter because it is just another day. Or the stars don’t reduce in number because nobody counts. The moon stops not showing up because of its glory.
The prosperity of nature is in the endless giving. In offering the species on earth, the best experience of living.
In the silence of our mind, the universe speaks to us.
To be able to hear, all we need is to believe in the Magnificence!
On Dec 31, 2021, one last item in my checklist blinked at me. Ah, the Coffee challenge about “New year resolution and what real problem in my life will I resolve in 2022”.
I wrote an article in the evening and managed to submit it at the last minute. I was lucky to find Ellie Jacobson online at that time and requested her to add me as a writer to the pub “Flint and Steel”. My first submission to the pub was accepted in a matter of minutes.
With only 5 minutes to 24:00. I submitted my published article to the challenge and it got accepted as the last article of the challenge.
Phew! What a way to end the year!
The year started with a sense of accomplishment.
I was not prepared for any of the pleasant surprises the new year held for me though.
The bountiful support from my fellow participants already made me feel like a winner!
And the top writer award from Medium is now history!
I expressed my thank you to the coffee times pub by submitting a second guest post to their substack newsletter.
When I submitted the article, I secretly wished to have my own newsletter someday that would adorn the subscribers’ inbox with positivity. And also help them discover the joy and beauty in their own lives.
I figured the newsletter would be something I could do for the rest of my life. With Passion. Setting my soul on fire!
But there was one problem: I didn’t know where to start.
Beware: Your secret wishes could come true
A few days later, the new coffee challenge announcement was made by Winston which was exactly about how to start our own substack newsletter and build an audience for our niche.
This has got to be the freaking universe listening to my silent wishes, I thought.
Nevertheless, that’s how “MagicBytes”, my substack newsletter was born.
Not convinced yet?
Now, as I was almost done setting up the newsletter, my ambitious self wondered: Would now be the right time to start planning my first book with a bunch of my re-affirming authentic stories?
[ Trust me, if I could write or talk about one thing uninterrupted for hours, it is Positivity.]
This time, the cosmos chose Sharing Randomly to deliver my surprise in the form of her mention.
In her article about the DEP book project, she invited me to participate.
This project expects the participating writer to commit to writing at least one story a month about the top five topics.
The surprise is that…..The first topic listed is: “Positivity”
when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it -Paulo Coelho.
As a believer who identifies herself with extreme optimism, I hope the reason for my participation in this book project is apparent by now!
I believe this is my calling to write my first book. And I want to honor it.
I want to be part of this project that I truly believe will create an amazing impact on the readers’ lives!
My love for writing comes from the urge to spread positivity and sprinkle joy in everyday life. And so I have a reason to believe my words will make all the difference!
It’s not about how much you do, but how much love you put into what you do that counts -Mother Teresa.
[This article was first published on Coffee times Substack.]
A run begins the moment you forget you are running! -Adidas
My run starts at the end of the third mile. The legs are well warmed up by that time. Joy overrides any discomfort in the legs. With every passing mile, feeling lighter drifting through the space in front of me like a feather.
I start to notice things around me. I have the urge to look at the color of the sky. The leaves on the trees appear a tad greener. The birds and squirrels in the park get my undivided attention. The music in my headphones becomes the voice of the animated people around me.
I am present in the moment. The mesmerizing reality keeps me going. As I arrive at the 7th mile, my legs pick up speed like never before. It always turns out to be my fastest mile. And in the next couple miles, my body cools down.
End of my weekend long run. Every run has a story to tell.
Running takes me to places I’ve never been.
There is something magical about running; After a certain distance, it transcends the body. Then a bit further, it transcends the mind. A bit further yet, And what you have before you, laid bare, is the soul. -Kristin Armstrong.
A writer is a world trapped in a person — Victor Hugo
My urge to write started during one of my runs. At that time, I was not prepared to share my love for running with anything else.
Today, Writing has become a part of me.
Writing takes me to places I would otherwise never be able to go — Bea Cannon.
The first hour of writing is usually the warm-up time. As my mind settles down, it starts sending commands to my fingers. After a few hours, I find myself in the zone where the words rush to me. I am yet to figure out from where. Or maybe, I will just let them be.
Writing for hours fills me with more energy at the end of every page. Sometimes, I am tempted to rewrite the entire article from a different perspective. With not a bit of drop in the zeal.
There are some days with writer’s blocks. And at times, letting out the words is the only way that makes me feel alive. I burn myself down to be reborn again. To tell the same story distinctly.
I choose to live across different worlds through my words.
Embracing all the fears, rejections, and challenges inside me, one world at a time!
A Writer’s Marathon has no finish line
As I reflect on my writing journey, I have come to realize that writing is like running a marathon every day. To keep going through the unknown. Breathing in strength and Believing in the work.
It takes as much to write as it takes to run: Discipline, Dedication, and Consistency.
Writing is like running a marathon. Not one. But, a series of Marathons! With no finish line!
A writer’s medal comes from within. It is the power to touch a million lives!
To create a lasting impact on the readers’ souls. Through words. A writer lives forever!
Marathon experience is for the driven; A Writer’s life is for the chosen!
The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start -John Bingham, Runner & Writer.
Please share your experience in the comments about how writing set you free.
New to Medium? Become a member using my referral link to get unlimited access to amazing stories for only $5 a month.
A huge shout out to Winston for inspiring me to write this article for the coffee times newsletter.
Check out one of his stories about the importance of writing a newsletter. Heeding his advice, I have started writing guest posts for Coffee Times to kickstart my newsletter journey.
We were walking back home from the temple when she asked me that question.
I wanted to tell her: When you tell out your wish loud, it may not come true.
But the Mommy’s heart wanted to know what was going on in the 7-year-old’s mind.
So I said: Yes, I would love to know.
Daughter: I wish, coronavirus is over this year, Mom.
Me: What?!
Daughter: Yes!
Me: Didn’t you wish anything for our family?
Daughter: No, Mommy. I think the world becoming covid free is more important than everything else.
OMG…what have I done, a part of me came out to pat my back for raising a kid who wishes not just for herself or the family! But for something bigger and better!
Me: You mean, you wished for the world?
Daughter: Yeah, You can say that too.
Me: Wait, what do you mean? What is your wish again?
Daughter: Mommy, don’t be silly. I just told you my wish. I …WANT… CORONAVIRUS… TO… BE… OVER.
Me: Why?
Daughter: What do you mean why? Only then, we can go out to malls, theatres, toy shops,…And live a normal life!
I want to give a shout-out to Drashti Shroff for her beautiful story about how she sparked positivity with her creative mind during the most needed moment in her marriage.
Going up on a 3mile hike with a toddler and a grown man [my husband] taught me something profound. We were both taking turns carrying our 2-year-old daughter and her stroller. Heading over to the gorgeous waterfalls in Oregon. It better be good, I thought.
When I spotted the falls from feet away, I froze. The pains left my body unannounced. My body, mind, and soul were immersed in the beauty of nature: The endless pouring of waterfalls with the gushing sound filled my heart with absolute joy.
A voice interrupted my view, “What a rough hike.” I looked back to notice a fine young couple with their cute backpacks telling me how challenging it was to climb up to the falls.
My involuntary response was instant: “Well, at least you didn’t have to carry a toddler or a stroller.”
Luck was in my favor, as they thought I was joking. Only that I was not.
We don’t realize how effortless some things are until we are left with no choice but to push our limits.
If we get a chance to go alone on that hike now, we had probably do it twice. The power of hindsight, I know….I know. But in all honesty, we never did many hikes as couples. This urge to connect with nature was an aftereffect of becoming a parent, I guess.
The same applies to my writing every morning. Some days, I can write for an hour or two with no interruptions. But once my kids are up, it gets challenging. My son wants to hold my hand as he enjoys his morning cup of milk, and my daughter’s interest in spelling is fully ripe in the morning.
Although I continue to type with my left hand to finish the paragraph, spelling out the words to the second-grader, nothing beats using both hands and a free mind for writing.
This is why I have set myself an alarm first thing in the morning. To wake up to my ideas and spill out my soul before it is too late for my hands.
“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion, or it will be killed.… It doesn’t matter whether you’re the lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” -Christopher McDougall.
In the above quote, Gazelle is the idea that sprouts in my mind every morning. And Lion is the time that waits for none.
I better write it all out before the time is up!!
I hope it was all relevant. My time is up now. Period.
“Game over!” said my mind to the body, when I had my first baby.
Would I ever be….NO! screamed my mind before I could complete the question.
I tried asking again.
“Would I ever be able to get back to the pre-pregnancy version of me?”
“NO!” the mind reassured.
The inner voice from my body whispered, “You can become better than that!”
I am glad I took the chance! More than once!
Don’t let your mind bully your body -June Tomaso Wood
Listen to your body
Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically if we are willing to listen to them -Shakti Gawain.
I have no shame in admitting that I listened to everyone and everything else but my body. For a long time.
I would go on crazy diets to lose weight. Losing weight is a sign of good health, right? Well, it depends on how we lose it and why we want to lose it!
In my case, I was healthy but bored. So I used to go on diets to kill some time and all my energy. Thinking about food all the time kept me busy.
In 6 weeks, I lost 15 lbs and became the talk of my office. I felt very good on the outside. But my body suffered inside. And I had no idea. Because my relationship with my body was only one-way. Only I had the power to choose!
At the height of my weight loss obsession, I heard a co-worker mention 10 lbs weight loss from being sick. And I wished that illness on me so I could lose more weight too. [Although I actually had no extra weight to lose!]
What a sick thought to have?! I was taking my body for granted!
After all, I was eating and also thinking like a cow!
The food that we eat influences not only our body but also our mind and mood.
Going hungry for long hours and walking with hurting knees became my new norm. I never considered my body had a life too.
I deprived it of all the nutrition. And it never occurred to me, to allow the body to heal and recover.
I learned in a hard way that going on a diet even for the short term would lead to long-term health issues!
It is like cutting a branch of a tree, not knowing we are the tree!
After all, I was trying to fit in a world where our body weight determines our fitness, health, and happiness.
And the not-so-surprising outcome was I managed to ruin a wholesome body. At my own cost!
My suffering from chronic knee pain at a very young age was a blessing.
The pain would wake me up in the middle of the night. I used to curse my body for putting me through such torments. My knee pain became a sort of my identity.
When I changed my lifestyle based on the book, I was able to establish a lifelong love for food and exercise.
I learned to laugh at the crash diets. And instant workouts. Finally, I was using my brains!
I practiced love and respect for my body, by connecting with it and listening to it.
In return, it did wonders to my health, happiness, and fitness. And boosted my energy levels throughout the day! I started glowing inside and out!
Stop trying to fix your body. It was never broken -Eve Ensler
Nurture your body
The best fitness advice I ever received in my entire life was from my personal trainer. He said, “Eat Well.”
I agree, it sounds more like common sense. But how uncommon is it in the social media world, we live in! The world of instant gratification!
When I started to feed my body with nutritious food and stopped judging it, I started to feel great in my own skin.
The surprising fact is how much our body craves healthy foods when we are on the right track!
Honoring the occasional cravings is also another way to show respect to the body.
The Powerhouse within us
The second best advice I received is “Rest Well”.
Between the first and the second advice lies the secret to the strong human body: Exercise!!
In my mid-20s, the Doctor advised medication and physical inactivity to combat the knee pain. I chose to strength train at the gym with the help of a personal trainer. At first, my goal was only to relieve myself from the pain. But as I trained and started lifting weights, I felt powerful.
I enjoyed conquering the pain with my strength. I felt a sense of accomplishment, I never experienced before. Workouts became an essential part of my routine.
It took more than half a year to start seeing visible results! The sore muscle pain after the workout sessions kept me hooked.
The weakest part of my body became my most valuable asset!
The human body is capable of amazing physical deeds. If we could just free ourselves from our perceived limitations and tap into our internal fire, the possibilities are endless -Dean Karnazes
Our bodies are far more capable than we can ever imagine. They have the ability to self-heal and recover.
All we need to do is to allow it to rest, as and when needed.
I finished my first race, a half-marathon at the age of 35. I had never felt stronger in my entire life!
I proved myself wrong again when I had the second baby. I started running and got back into the game of heavy lifting. I am now even stronger than I used to be!
As I write this, I am pretty confident that I will break my own records in the future.
I am sharing my experience to show that there is no age limit to become strong and healthy. I am stronger in my late 30s than I was in my 20s.
Human bodies are very resilient! They are quick to adapt to new changes and are always open to challenges.
Your body is amazing and NOT challenging it enough is a disgrace to itself and you!
Tell your body what you want. And it will give you without holding back!
Eat. Exercise. Rest. Repeat.
Own your body
Embrace and love your body. It’s the most amazing thing you’ll ever own -Unknown.
Accepting your body is the first step towards lifelong self-love!
Your body craves your attention more than anything else.
Don’t let others’ opinions and self-doubts overrule your regard for your body! How you talk to your body makes all the difference.
Show respect to your body by setting meaningful goals. Your body is listening!
Celebrate every small win with your body!
The best things in life are not measured by numbers. So is your body. Ditch the scale and focus on non-scale victories.
Get out there today and do something you have always wanted to do. Without fears and limits.
Shower your body with lots of love, respect, and admiration!
Become your own version of beautiful!
What do you love about your amazing body? Please share it in the comments.
In the third trimester of my first pregnancy, I was sitting in the Lamaze class for new moms.
The instructor told us, “Childbirth experience is like running a marathon”. I didn’t have a clue then about what a marathon felt like.
My pregnancy mind interpreted: “Both involve enduring long hours without food.”
A little shy of two years after my first kid, I was expecting my half-marathon in a few days.
I was also trying to get pregnant with my second kid but I wanted to finish my race first. So I was debating with my younger sister about this urge to run a race at such an inappropriate time.
She could not get it. She was neither a runner nor a mother at that time.
So I explained to her the Lamaze class analogy. Childbirth is like running a marathon. You need to keep going for long hours until the baby is out.
She nodded and I continued: Likewise when you have trained so hard for a race, you should show up for a race as a runner. You have to finish what you started!
Let me rephrase it for you:
Running a race is like giving birth! You can’t quit!
She was speechless.
End of the debate.
A childbirth experience is a given. But the Marathon experience is only for the driven!
That’s how I became a Runner Mom 🤩
Please share your experience with childbirth or race or both in the comments.
New to Medium? Become a member using my referral link to get unlimited access to amazing stories for only $5 a month.
This story was inspired by Dina Alexander’s story below, where she compares writing a thesis to running a marathon. It resonated with my draft sitting idle. No better time to hit publish!
A shout-out to Sebastian Wolf’s article about why we feel powerless. And what to do about it. I enjoyed his flow of writing with little gold nuggets for the mind!
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