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People often ask me: “do you cry?”
I burst into laughter. This has now become my preferred mode of answering that specific question.
Not all cries are created equal. There are times when the joy in my tears instantly replaces the last trace of pain in no time. Sometimes, I scream the hell into my pillow, allowing the longings to sting the corners of my heart with no mercy. After a few cycles, I feel lighter and get back to the living part of life with clarity!
By far, the most dreadful ones are the silent tears. I am absolutely mindful of it and let it happen only when I am ok to surrender myself to the distress, creating some space for the suffering, although only momentarily.
Yesterday night was one such instance, where my heart literally jumped out to check on my face to confirm thy feelings. Oh, poor me! I had to hold on to that gloomy phase for a bit longer to let the watery eyes wash away the strains of misery lurking deep inside my heart!
The irony of love is that those closest to me also know how to hurt me the most! Is it because they also hold the extra pair of keys to the core of my heart?!
It was time for me to relinquish the additional keys and declare some parts of my heart private, accessible only by me! The power of self-love!
© Tamil, 2022
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