I Stopped Trying to Be The Wife I Was Taught To Be

April 19, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

RELATIONSHIPS

And became the best version of Myself.

A cheerful woman laughing with her hands on cheek — Photo by Look Studio on Unsplash

What if you stopped asking for space in your marriage and just took it?

For years, I waited for permission until one fine day, I realized I didn’t need it.

In the first few months of our marriage, I did exactly what I thought every other wife on the planet did.

I put into practice everything I had learned since childhood about how a woman should be in a relationship.

What I saw in other homes, heard in conversations, and absorbed from movies confirmed this: be flexible and always available.

So, I never let my husband step into the kitchen. I took over all the household chores, thinking that was the only way to win his heart.

As he left home every morning, I waited until evening, discounting the time in between. I was not motivated to do anything in his absence.

I waited for him to come home so I could start living again.

We would go to the gym together in the evenings. On days he skipped his workouts, I did, too. After all, I was only exercising for him.

I made dinner in silence while he watched “Family Guy.” Little did I know then the premise of the adult cartoon. I was too innocent and got carried away by the title.

I watched him watch TV nonchalantly until my eyes dropped to sleep. Some days, I wondered if he was even suffering from quiet depression.

I became so obsessed with researching his behaviour. What else was I supposed to do in a foreign country with no social life or driver’s license?

I was growing passionate about overanalysing him, dissecting his every move, desperate to find my traces in his thoughts.

My hobbies, schedule, and moods all revolved around his free time.

I lost myself in the endless chores, many of which I didn’t enjoy.

I kept going, silently, like the women before me: my mom, my aunts, my sisters, the ever-smiling “good wife” from the movies.

I paused my needs and desires, reshaping my life around his.

I thought marriage was about one person sacrificing for the other.

I volunteered to be the tribute.

The First Crack in the Mold

A few weeks into our marriage, we went on a long drive to a small Dutch village. I was very much looking forward to this trip. It meant more 1:1 time with my husband. Driving was the only time he looked at anything other than TV.

I woke up early to blow dry my hair and apply some makeup. My favorite pink lipstick and mascara lit up my face, reflecting my mood. I carefully picked the moss-green halter top and white capris to complement my look.

We started driving, and he said nothing. Maybe the green was not catchy enough; I cursed myself for picking the wrong color that was not appealing to his eyes.

But here was the twist: everyone in and around the street saw me when we stopped at the coffee shop after the two-hour drive. They waved at me, and I smiled back.

Everyone seemed to notice except him.

But that was not enough to make me happy. All I cared about was what he thought about how I looked.

I felt like a child seeking applause that never came.

I love taking photos to capture the moment, but my husband believes in capturing moments in the heart. I know it’s so cliche, but it was still too early in my marriage for me to know his memory was terrible, too.

I couldn’t contain my excitement when I saw the horse carriage. I asked him to click a few pictures of me with the horses. I bet the horses were looking forward to it, too.

His look showed that he was in no mood for photography. When he reluctantly grabbed the camera from me, it slipped off his hand and landed on the floor.

Everything I had been suppressing for weeks erupted in that moment. I lost it when I yelled at him in public to click the freaking photo. He didn’t react and took a couple of pics.

It ended up being such a disappointing trip.

The Unexpected Hope

On our ride home, following an uncomfortable silence, we started to argue over who was right for the next twenty minutes. The only difference was that he spoke about what had just happened while I stood up for myself, presenting everything I had done for the last several days.

When I mentioned “sacrifice,” he said:

Anything done out of love needs no mention.

Tears welled up. I turned my face to the window, ashamed and confused. I was fighting against my thoughts, unable to forgive myself for what I had done. I couldn’t admit it either.

Surprisingly, he seemed to notice that I was heartbroken.

He stopped the car and asked me to step out. He walked, took my hand, and led me to a hidden lake.

He pulled the camera out and took candid photos of me with that barren tree beside the lake. He continued to capture the moments until I asked him to stop.

It was the first time I felt included. The moment that screamed hope in our marriage.

Opposites, Still Trying

We are the polar opposites, my husband and I.

I thrive on communication, he finds peace in the quiet.

I believe in magic; he believes in data.

I show love through words; he shows it through his service of acts.

It was hard for him to understand my need to communicate. As the only child in his home, TV has been his constant companion, his safe place.

And when he did surprise me with magnanimous gifts on my birthdays, it only felt like the cherry on top.

I already had enough cherries collected over the last several years of our courtship.

I only wanted to bake a whole new cake with our names on it.

Running Back To Myself

Three years into our marriage, I did something radical after having our first child: I chose me.

After dropping our child off at daycare, I walked into a nearby park and started jogging without any plan.

It wasn’t glamorous, but it challenged me.

I needed that dare to feel alive.

My lungs burned. My heart pounded. I instantly fell in love with that feeling.

Why did I run if it felt so hard?

I had no answer to that question, but I couldn’t stop running either. I kept going on and on. One mile after the other, I hit the 5-mile mark every single day, showing up at the one-man show every morning at 6 a.m. sharp.

The miles brought me closer to myself, one step at a time. The best part was that I showed up every day without excuse, not to impress anyone or lose my post-baby weight. I wanted to do something I felt was impossible.

Without my knowledge, I was rebuilding my self-worth, piece by piece.

The Ripple Effect

At first, my husband was surprised. Like everybody else around me, he assumed I’d quit after a while.

But to my surprise, I didn’t. Even during our vacations, I laced up and hit the treadmill or ran barefoot on the beach.

He watched me quietly as I transformed, not just physically but emotionally.

Slowly, something changed between us.

He started reaching out to me more. He would call me in the middle of the day to say hi, and if I was busy on my runs, I would hang up and continue running. In my free time, we chatted like we used to once. No specific topics. Not about chores and errands. Just about us.

His respect for me grew leaps and bounds. His love deepened, putting the depth of the sea to shame.

Maybe because he no longer felt responsible for making me happy or because his space felt more secure than ever. I never took the time to find out.

I had finally found my permanent space in our marriage.

When he tells his friends about my running, I hear the pride in his voice.

And guess what? I can now live without it.

His recognition is lovely, but my self-worth no longer depends on it.

His praise is icing. But I baked the whole cake. For me.

He doesn’t include me in his answers because he knows I am the answer.

And I know that, too.

If You’re Reading This…

… and wondering how to reclaim your power:

Find something you love, and do it without your partner, not out of resentment but out of wholeness.
Create your own rhythm in the relationship.
Stop running from what’s not working.
Start running toward what makes you feel alive.
When you become your own solution, you naturally become a source of happiness for everyone around you.
Start with a tiny act that feels like you. And keep going. The rest will follow.

If you enjoyed this article, check out MagicBytes, where I write more honest, heart-centered reflections like this, exploring the messy, magical middle of life, womanhood, parenting, and self-worth.

Join us, your inbox deserves more truth and less noise.

They Call Me Lazy. I Call It Choosing Peace.

April 18, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

LIFE LESSONS

Maybe “lazy” is just doing less of what doesn’t matter.

A woman wearing jacket walking in the woods with scattered leaves on both sides during Fall. — Photo by Krists Luhaers on Unsplash

What if everything we thought about laziness was a lie?

Is laziness really about doing nothing? Or could it be about doing less of what drains us?

They call me lazy: my close friends, my husband’s friends’ wives, and even people I’ve just met, especially after they hear about my self-care runs, workout routines, and constant juggling of work, kids, and home.

Their assumption? I must have all the time in the world to do these things. Which means I do nothing else.

Probably, it’s my husband who does it all: another poor presumption.

They even give him bonus points if he logs my miles or cheers me on while I power lift in the gym.

Truthfully, all he does is make me two cups of coffee every morning like clockwork so I can clear off my sleepy head.

But the ROI on his effort? Exponential (He’d agree.)

The secret behind those runs and workouts is what I trade for an extra hour of sleep, salon trips, or time scrolling on my phone.

What bothers them most is that I neither correct them nor I don’t explain myself.

But for once, let’s play along.

Let me show you what “lazy” really looks like.

A Day in the Life of the “Lazy” One

Last night, I went to bed at 12:30 a.m. and woke up at 5:55 a.m.

I made coffee and gave myself 15 minutes to read a book, a small pocket of stillness before the busy day began. Then I made breakfast for my daughter, using the homemade ghee I had prepared the night before.

We revised her exam answers. I walked her to the bus stop, and on my way back, I picked up some fresh vegetables.

When I got home, my son was already awake. I got him ready and made his breakfast and lunch in the next hour. I gulped down my breakfast in five minutes before logging in to work and checking emails. I planned the meals for the entire week and dove into work.

Just as I realized I needed another coffee, my daughter returned from school.

We reviewed her test, helped her with a few more things, and answered spontaneous (and energy-draining) requests from my husband, who always needs my brain more than I do.

With exactly 35 minutes left before my son got home, I chose the treadmill over TV and finished walking 3 km.

It was also a hair-wash day. I squeezed it in, dashed out with dripping hair, and took my son to class.

I ate lunch in the car, applying moisturizer between traffic signals.

And here I am sitting in the parents’ lounge of my son’s class, hair damp, body exhausted, brain frozen. Three quiet minutes, finally mine.

(It has only been two-thirds of a day. Sigh.)

A Quiet Moment and an Unexpected Realization

Back to those three rare minutes in the waiting hall, what bubbles to the surface of my mind is the word “Lazy.” Again.

I shrug it off, shaking my head, looking at my phone, trying hard to decompress.

An Instagram post from a friend’s friend catches my eye. It’s about autumn. She writes:

“How beautiful it is to fall, to scatter, to age. 🍂🍁

There’s strength in letting go because the true magic isn’t found in clinging, but in the release.

For within every ending, there’s a gentle, unspoken promise of something new, waiting just around the corner.”

Her lines made me feel at ease. I took my notepad and started to write.

It is okay to fall and scatter in others’ minds. Letting go of their impressions about me will only become my strength.

It was time to rebrand my laziness.

Redefining What It Means to “Do Nothing”

To everyone who thinks or is tempted to think, “I’m lazy,” this one’s for you.

You’re right. I am lazy, but in my ways:

I’m lazy not to correct people when they label me.
Lazy enough to walk away from stupid arguments.
I am sluggish and like a snail when explaining myself to others.
I’m too lazy to hold on to anything that drains my time or energy.
I’m lazy as crazy to perform exhaustion to prove my worth.

Lazy, On My Own Terms

A woman standing along with the tall trees in green woods, her mirror image reflecting in the water below. — Photo by Hans Ott on Unsplash

Lazy isn’t just about doing less.
It’s doing less of what doesn’t matter and becoming more of what truly serves my purpose.
Lazy is my quiet form of resistance. To keep prioritising my peace over everything else.
I am happy to let go of all things that don’t matter to me anymore.
I am glad to be lazy. And Free.

I agree I’m lazy. Because I know my strength comes from being my kind of lazy.

What a privilege it is to be lazy?!

Let Go. Breathe. Choose. Repeat.

I let go of the noise.

Inhaling peace, Exhaling Pressure.

I Choose Peace. I Choose Stillness. I Choose Myself.

I repeat it as often as possible, so it becomes my second nature.

Life never felt so lightweight, when I dropped all the unwanted baggage, I was carrying around for others.

Sometimes doing nothing is doing what matters most.

What are you holding on to that you’re finally lazy enough to release?

Redefining “lazy” might be the most intentional thing you do today.

If this shifted something in you, leave a comment or share it with someone who might need permission to redefine “lazy,” too.

Join us, your inbox deserves more truth and less noise.

My Secret Recipe Connected the Dots

April 11, 2025August 9, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

My husband and daughter announced in unison:

Mommy makes the best French toast in the world.

duh…they have been around to only half of the world. I love their conviction though.

Hiding my sneaky smile, I walk into the kitchen to get them both, another slice. They deserve it, don’t you think ?

No matter how often they attempt to ace my recipe, they couldn’t get close to crack my secret ingredient.

For years, I have been tricking them into believing that it was my love that added the extra layer of sweetness.

Well, not anymore.

Today, I have no option but to reveal the classified information, for the sake of this article and to retain my authenticity.

Are you ready for it ?

Eating my French toast becomes a whole new experience because of the extra spoonful of brown sugar, I sprinkle on top of the bread slice, halfway through the process. I toast it on a low flame for a few minutes before sliding it onto the serving plate.

Slow cooking melts the sugar crystals on top, making the bread piece browner, and crunchier, and more appetising to the taste buds as they devour each bite.

My Eureka Moment

Today, during the usual cooking process, I had my moment of revelation.

Like the simple ingredient that made my recipe enticing, I am grateful to have special people in my life whose extra sweetness transform my most ordinary moments into beautiful occasions.

Their presence makes life worthwhile.

To honour the length of this article, I will pick the first person in my life [in chronological order]: My elder sister.

Her simple gestures speaks volumes of truth, sparking meaningful connections, elevating my mood, and uplifting my spirits.

She holds the golden key that unlocks my brighter side in no time.

The Ritual that fosters our connection

My 15-minute morning call with my sister has now become a daily ritual.

Every morning after the kids have left for school, we have a mini session over phone, roasting the problems in our lives.

What started as a casual convo to keep me awake as I made my second cup of coffee, has now become our favourite part of the day.

The first minutes are reserved for the most recent challenges we are facing at work, life, parenting, and what not?!

When we run out of topics, we keep the fire on, recollecting memories from our past, reminding ourselves of all the silly-brave stuff we did as kids, how we survived life’s worst storms.

We are both so much in sync that our dialogues flow seamlessly. Her presence of mind in mapping any real-life serious events to the most funny movie references is epic. She cracks me up effortlessly.

We take turns narrating our families’ best and worst happenings with such creative humour that leaves us laughing until we can’t breathe.

Our perspectives on life challenges have totally changed now. When a new problem arise, I can’t stop thinking of all the fun we are going to have with it, in the following morning chat.

Long after I have hung up the phone, I can still feel the vibration in my diaphragm from excessive laughing. There is no better way to set such a perfect tone for the rest of my day.

What surprises me most is that we are not even fully awake at that hour. Yet, we build such beautiful energy into our exchange, making it a truly special experience.

This is also why she easily stands out from the rest of the world.

Behind the scenes

My Sister and I, we share nothing in common.

We are both polar opposites.

I am a beacon of positivity while she is a borderline pessimist. She plays safe while I am known for risking my life for the love of game.

If I drew a line chart representing our understanding about each other over the years, it would look like a sine wave, full of ups and downs.

We have had the best times and worst. But what brings us together through life’s thick and thin is beyond love or the bloodline.

Her genuine interest in understanding my personality and strengths, her investment in my personal development brings her to the top of my go-to people list.

The “Extra” sugar in our relationship

It would not be an exaggeration if I said my sister is more involved in helping me reaching my goals, than her own.

The beauty of our bond lies in the fact that she never once laughed at my crazy goals.

She respects my efforts, pushes me beyond my limits, dissolving any self-doubts and fears by quoting instances from my childhood days. She enables me to believe in myself.

She has been my watcher all my life, constantly noticing the tiny details, appreciating the smallest actions, celebrating my little wins.

She knew nothing about running then, but she was my huge motivator when I told her about my plan to run my first half marathon. On the day of the race, she went a step overboard and told me: Try to come first in the race [I warned you, she knew nothing about running or races, LOL].

She has consistently encouraged me to not give up my running or powerlifting at any cost. My most loved motivation line from her is: Even if you knew you were going to die today, make sure to get your miles in or beat your personal record at the gym.

She doesn’t go to gym either but she knows how important my workouts are to me.

Uncommon courage emerges from knowing that there is someone out there who believes in you as much as you do. When situations demand otherwise, she has more confidence in me than I do. Sometimes, I thrive through hell so as not to let her hopes about me fall down.

She can pick me up from rock bottom from thousands of miles away with her words. When I hit my lowest point in my work life with my toxic boss, she sent me an email to remind me of my strengths, and this line stayed with me forever: You are the north star for life’s vision. keep rocking.

We are constantly learning about each other’s new interests, invested in one another’s growth, and evolving together through different life stages.

Relationships like this transform and inspire me to reach my fullest potential.

She is my non-stop cheerleader, enabling me to see my light even through the darkest nights.

Push Beyond Your Limits

March 14, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

It is super easy

A woman dressed in blue suit posing by lifting her thumbs up and pointing out her index finger — Photo by Moose Photos on Pexels

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

In my experience, the tough goes nowhere, but the journey strengthens us to get through it.

The most difficult part of this process is continuing to push our limits even on the days, we run out of our energy reserves (which is most days).

Here is a simple hack to tap your limits: A simple Q&A with yourself will work like a charm.

Let me illustrate it with an example from my workout session today.

Today is leg day. As we start the workout, I have fears of all possible post-workout aches and pains.

I remembered this quote: “A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.” I stepped forward, determined to face any distress.

My trainer says we will do three sets in each circuit of four workouts.

The first circuit is often the hardest. It is when the body takes on a lot. Muscles tear and contract during this stage. The next ones feel better as the body has acclimatized to the pain.

The last set of the first circuit is always the worst. Unsurprisingly, my legs begin to shake, and my ears start to feel deafening. Looking at the barbell gives me all the rush but in a scary way.

My task at hand is now to lift that 155 lbs. bar. First, I have to contract my upper back. Then, I press my heels firmly to the ground. Lifting the weight, take a step back, focus on my quads and squat fifteen times. How hard can that be?

When I lift that kind of weight, all I resist thinking about is losing my balance and crashing into the mirror in front of me.

Today was no different. I did what I usually do to get through this hell of a session.

I glance at my personal trainer, the national champion, standing across from me. I then look at my husband beside me, who can effortlessly lift more than double that weight. Now, I stare at my reflection, questioning my eyes. “Who is the strongest one here?” The inner voice whispers, “It is You.”

End of the circuit.

What happened now was not some random pep talk but the truth.

After all the extreme challenges my body went through during the two childbirths, I worked my way up to belong here with the best people, showing my worth. No wonder I am the toughest one!

My feat is not to undermine the men but to not use being a woman as an excuse to build the body I deserve.

My Q&A with myself reminded me who I am, and that is all I needed to know to do more than what I deemed impossible.

Try this out for yourself today and let me know how it felt in the “comments” section.

My wish for you today is to go the extra mile to test your limits. Once you do, push it one step further. Trust me, the aftereffect is super amazing.

This story was originally published in my weekly newsletter: Magicbytes.

Here is a couple of articles I enjoyed with my morning coffee today:

A beautiful poem by Libby Shively McAvoy inviting us to join her in the dance:

View at Medium.com

An article from George Kathele about stressing us to find joy in simple things:

View at Medium.com

A special shout out to all the DEP editors for being so passionate about uplifting the writers. Heartfelt thanks to Dr. Gabriella Korosi, DR Rawson – The Possibilist, B.R. Shenoy, Dr. Preeti Singh, Annelise Lords, LC Lynch, Buddhi Ruparathna, Warren Brown, and Gabriela Trofin-Tatár.

✍ — Edited and Published by Dr. Gabriella Korosi, at Dancing Elephants Press. Click here for submission guidelines.

Sending Love to All the Special People

February 20, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

INSPIRATION

Who walked into my life at the right time

Two hands holding yellow and orange flavored drink in opposite directions. — Photo by Konrad Hofmann on Unsplash

On this Valentine’s Day, my heart is brimming with love, and I choose to direct it to new places, I have never sent before.

Lots of love, and warmth to those who broke my heart and flipped my emotions, all for fun. Without you, I would never have known what it meant to be truly loved.

My forgiveness is wrapped with best wishes to those who tried hard to bring me down and make me feel small, only to not let their egos fall. I have learned the depth of my fear in my attempt to show you my valor. Thank you for making me stronger than ever.

I extend my best wishes to those who made me walk through shame for the love of their game. I’ve now learned that some battles are not worth my pain. I have nothing to prove and no one to impress. I am more than enough for myself and everyone else, and I celebrate this self-discovery and self-acceptance.

Whether it was a leap of faith or a deep dive into emotions, I’ve come to realize that love takes on a beautiful form when we pour it out on those who taught us our most valuable life lessons.

Belated Happy Valentine’s Day!

PS: This article was originally published in my newsletter: Magicbytes.

A couple of lovely articles that I enjoyed reading:

Here is an article from Damien House that makes you feel light like a feather, yet inspires you to take action:

View at Medium.com

And here is another one from Dr. Preeti Singh that shows the effect of love in our lives:

View at Medium.com

✍ — Edited and Published by Dr. Preeti Singh at Dancing Elephants Press. Click here for submission guidelines.

Parenting makes life easy

February 16, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

No love is as fierce as the one between a mother and her child!

Our bond is one of a kind, as we share unique traits that run in the bloodline.

I am amazed at how my ten year old daughter aligns her thoughts to fit any situation.

Her quick wits make me fall flat to the floor. I stay there grounded for a bit longer, as no time would be enough to watch that little wonder!

Following are some of the brutal conversations between me and my savage girl!

Disclaimer: Read it at your own risk.

The black hole:

It was a Sunday morning. I was sipping my second cup of coffee without any pressure at the dining table. My husband was busy making breakfast for the kids. I noticed my daughter’s gaze on me as she was enjoying her fresh French toast from her favourite parent. She leaned in, grasping my arm, and posed a stream of questions. I was already a bit high from the extra caffeine and responded to her without hesitation. Only later did I realize this was another custom trap she had set for me.

She asked me, “Mommy, what would you do if someone kidnapped me?”

Me: If that ever happened, I’ll never stop till I find you.

She: What if I were to disappear into the black hole?

Me: No matter where you are, I’ll come there to look for you.

She wondered, “What if no one can find me?”

I continued: Hey, remember, I’m the mommy. I’ll find you somehow.

She couldn’t hold back her laughter anymore. She said, “Mom, you can’t even make my breakfast on time. Dad’s the one making it. But you want to make me believe all these claims about you coming after me.”

The ingenious one:

After watching social media for a while, I decided to be a better parent. I promised myself to spend at least 20 minutes learning something from my little girl every week. When I told her, she was so excited to teach me. She immediately brought the colored sheets, pencils, and rulers.

My daughter has been making paper art for a while, self-teaching using YouTube videos. She has made many beautiful crafts. But today was my first time watching her do something without the tutorial.

We both decided to make a paper cupboard with drawers. Her instructions were simple and easy to follow. She showcased her skill with rapid finger movements. She shaped precise arcs with skilled fingers. I wondered how she even remembered the exact measurements of several such items.

At one point, I almost gave up and looked at her with pride, saying, “You know that you’re a genius, right?!”

Her answer once again blew my already scattered mind!

Mommy, I’m not a genius. You’re plain dumb.

Several weeks have passed, and we are yet to play again.

The Attention Seeker:

My daughter wanted us to notice her. She said, “Dad and Mom, as I am your only girl child, I see no reason why you wouldn’t do it for me.”

My husband set out to tease her this time and began, “Well, we need to tell you some news. You’re not our only daughter. You have a little sister.” And to keep the heat on, I added, “Yes, she goes to a boarding school in Hawaii.”

My daughter seemed to listen to us without blinking. My husband and I smirked at each other and continued. But, she stopped us, saying, “Well, I already have the DNA test done. The results are out. My brother and I are your only offspring.”

My husband and I stared at each other in disbelief. She finally got our attention at last!

The killer line:

In our family, the daughter and dad argue a lot over the silliest things. Recently, they had one such serious debate. The little kid, being the smartest one in the room, was aware that I am her only last resort. Here she comes running to me with tears in her eyes. She bursts out, “Mommy, though I don’t like you that much, you’re better than Dad.”

What would you do mommy?

February 16, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

Alright, let’s play a game, I announced to my family.

My daughter quickly kickstarted the game: Mommy, would you rather take off your clothes in a mall for $1000 or take $100 for doing nothing?

I froze in my car seat. My heart skipped a few beats as my mind replayed the words “take off clothes” and “$1000” a million times in those 30 seconds.

“Mom!!” she shrugged my right shoulder from the back seat.

Trying hard to keep my cool, I adjusted my voice, hiding the traces of shock on my face. Without turning back, I responded, “Ah yes, I would just take that $100”.

Wow, what a predictable response!! I guess my creative mind disappeared into thy parent hat!!

She continued with a winning smile[like she already knew what I would choose], “Mom, you know, you could have easily won $1000 by taking off your clothes inside one of those trial rooms in the mall”.

I couldn’t help but laugh. With a sigh of relief, dropping all that tension I was holding back, I said, “Ah, that’s smart. But how would you prove that to the person who bet on you?”

I saw her thinking horns becoming big as she raised her eyebrows with confused eyes.

My husband shook his head in disapproval as he understood my game plan from across the driver’s seat.

It was the moment of truth. The curious girl was waiting to absorb anything I said like a sponge.

Do you know something better than being smart? It is being right!! I declared. She listened without blinking her eyes.

In situations like this, losing the bet is the right thing to do! I concluded.

But how would I know what is right? She wanted to clarify further. If you were me, what would you do, Mommy?

That’s simple. I would ask myself, what should I do? And then there is this part of me that would…“Oh, I know…the devil and the angel side”, she interrupted.

Yes, that’s right!! Always listen to the angel side of you! She will only let you do the right thing! I finished off the beautiful conversation that made my day!!!

My favourite part of parenting is imparting wisdom to kids when they ask us the most surprising questions.

The truth we plant in them today will help them flourish and prosper, even when we are no longer around to watch them!

This post is featured in good men project today: https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/what-would-you-do-mommy/

A beautiful lesson, A life hack

February 16, 2025February 16, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

Sitting in the middle seat of the aircraft between my daughter and son, I had no better option but to peek at the word puzzle my 10-year-old girl was trying to solve.

It was the usual game involving words hidden in all directions: up, down, across, etc…As we moved from one page to another, I wanted to make it more challenging by timing it to see who finished it first. We vigorously scanned the scattered letters with our eyes buried in the page.

With the increasing fun, my daughter found new ways to win more points.

When it was my turn, my daughter started to distract me by saying things like, “Oh mom, you are so slow; I already found the words,” “Omg, it is right in front of your eyes,”…all the crazy tricks to make me nervous and lose the traction.

Her tactics indeed work in her favor, making me lose focus. I resolved to spot the concealed words with the growing tension, fixating my eyes even more profoundly on the matrix.

The harder I tried, the more difficult it became. So, I looked away for a few seconds and then returned to the puzzle. Only this time, the words in the book revealed themselves to me, apparently. I aced the game like a pro, winning it in less than a minute.

I tried this new method of tuning out and getting back in for the subsequent rounds. It became even easier to hunt down and solve the maze every time.

This made me reflect on how this applies to life, too. When things get overwhelming and out of control, it becomes easy to be helplessly strapped to the situation. The more I look at myself through the keyhole of my problem, the more I limit my beliefs to match its size. With no way out, I feel lost and powerless in the imaginary little bubble I create, a place of suffering.

During times like this, I go out for a run listening to my pumped-up playlist, head to the gym and start my powerlifting routine, or walk around the block for as long as an hour. This allows me to feel free from the victim mindset, making me feel instantly lighter. A minor shift in body motion during any intense emotion can make such a huge difference.

When I return to where I left off, I sense new freedom in the spot where I once sulked. My perception of my problems has now changed. Higher level of freedom brings greater degree of responsibilities. The keyhole I once stared into opens up itself for me. I feel powerful enough to dare open as many locked doors as I want because now I realize I am the Key.

The troubled circumstances that once enslaved me now vanish once I take charge of my life. I am not the loser but the gatekeeper of my thoughts, the believer.

What an empowering feeling to recognize that the solution to all our problems lies within us. All we ever have to do is, step away from the situation for a bit to gain new perspectives and look at the bigger picture.

This new year, I wish you take charge of your problems, your thoughts, your dreams, and your life. Life is too sweet to sweat on things that don’t really matter.

Happy 2025.

What Makes You Stand Out?

February 16, 2025February 16, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

The room filled with applause directed towards me as everyone stood up.

The standing ovation lasted for a full twenty seconds.

The charm of that space captivated me, leaving me startled.

I captured the whole scene in my heart to keep it forever. Although my vanity wanted the moment to last a little longer.

I had just finished reading “Pete, The Cat: And His Four Groovy Buttons” to my daughter’s kindergarten class. It was my first book session at the school library as a parent volunteer. Something I was not too inclined to do, but I showed up anyway to tick off the super-mom’s checklist.

I had missed slots in the past due to delays on my end, and this time, I squeezed it in to fit my work schedule.

I was so glad and proud that I finally made it with a blast. Later that afternoon, as my daughter and I drove back home, I couldn’t stop smiling. The cheers still echoed in my ears. A mild grumbling voice from the back seat shook me back to the present. My hard-to-impress daughter commented, “It was only okay, Mommy. Not great.”

Nevertheless, I continued to show up to my favourite audience at every opportunity.

The joy on the kids’ faces hooked me in, making me want to do more of what I already did best. Only this time, my audience was different.

It marked the new beginning of my public storytelling sessions. I felt motivated to find new avenues to share my experiences with people of all ages.

Today, I am reminiscing about how not letting my 5-year-old’s raw comment stop me from doing what I enjoy made all the difference.

My wish for you today is to NOT stop because someone thinks you are not good enough. Keep doing what you love to do best, and everything else will follow.

Have a great day.

Sending love to all the wrong people

February 16, 2025February 16, 2025 / trickyqueen / Leave a comment

On this Valentine’s Day, my heart is brimming with love, and I choose to direct it to new places, embracing the transformative power of love and gratitude.

Lots of love, and warmth to those who broke my heart and flipped my emotions, all for fun. Without you, I would never have known what it meant to be truly loved.

Whether it was a leap of faith or a deep dive into emotions, I’ve come to realize that love takes on a beautiful form when we pour it out on those who taught us our most valuable life lessons.

Happy Valentine’s Day!